I started the day as usual, with my prayers, creams, tonics, oils, serums, foundation; I love it. The ritualistic making of the bed, as if preparing a sacred space. Hot water with lemon and sometimes honey, sipped slowly, as the stomach needs + - 20 minutes to accommodate solid food. Then, my magnificent detox shot, in a cup of coffee, along with moringa, cinnamon, turmeric and cayenne pepper, drizzled with lemon juice and a little water. Super detoxifying, anti-inflammatory and good antioxidant. After the fruit, a small slice of gluten-free bread with the delicious organic almond butter that my daughter made. Then, scrambled eggs that - I was hungry today!
I dewed my Dolce & Gabbana perfume with Oud, the exotic and aphrodisiac incense only used by major brands in the Middle East, as Arabs don't buy perfume without their beloved Oud. I bought it in Dubai, where everything has Oud and now, perfumes sold in other parts of the world are just silence to me. Without the Oud, it seems that the heart, the magic, the élan of perfume is missing. The Arabian Nights Tale had certainly Oud spreading languidly through the air, sweet and full of promises… the Middle Eastern know a lot about this…
Finally, I go out to buy fresh fish - yes, perfumed for fishmongers; why not? In one of the best markets in Lisbon, I arrived at the car park and there it was the man who usually guards it… I guess. "Good morning! You look thinner" I told him in one breath; he tore a smile and I saw his teeth for the first time in years - “Ah, yes… I am trying to avoid the gastric band surgery” … I barely know how to distinguish car brands - except a Ferrari from a Porsche, I love both - I don’t know which floor the neighbours are from, I don’t easily remember names, but… I can see when someone loses weight or adds 500 grams. My daughter is always very surprised, because I sometimes say: “She did something to her nose, or she is more swollen”, or something. It is not out of malice; it must be my survival instinct since babies retain/memorize faces better because they need their parents to live. I must have had that visual memory refined… not sure.
I arrive at the bench with fresh fish from the sea, which I have been attending for almost 4 years. It was from dear Mrs. Açucena, a woman almost 80 years old, short, thick and a true “general”. With a generous heart and a kind smile, she built from scratch that “fish empire” serving high quality. Some of the best restaurants in Lisbon were her customers. Very respected by well-known people, she was a force of nature, always in motion, always accelerated, always working, commanding the team, serving customers with the best of herself. I told her one day that she had to rest, slow down, let the younger ones work harder. She told me that after an intense day of work, she would still get up at 4:00 am, fetch fish and was very early in the market, preparing her “stage” to serve with a team that was always hurrying, but above all, loving her. She continued: “I can't stop madam, without me, this won't run”!
The following week, I arrived at the market as usual, and I was surprised not to see Mrs. Açucena. I immediately felt something in people’s faces… the heavy energy... something happened... She was invited to some distinguished parties and weddings, given the respect and affection that her wealthy and well-known customers had for her. She was driving (yes, she was very independent and still driving at her age) to one of those events - she rarely went to any of them as she lived for work, but she couldn't say no to everyone - and she lost her way. The car felt downhill and she died there. I felt a pain in my chest, tears in my eyes, a sweet sadness. I thanked her soul, wished her blessings on the way, said a prayer. Blessed be. She said she couldn't stop... as we say so many times, until a Coronavirus comes offering unsuspected retreats… that open to us confusedly at first, recalcitrant, then cluttered, scaring and then, I hope, conscious, deep and transformative.
Today in the market, I was attended by Mrs. Açucena's granddaughter, who embraced her grandmother's legacy - a lovely, friendly and diligent young woman, whom I am fond of. I like to talk to the whole team as well. Sometimes when they are preparing my fish, I go buy macadamias and dried apple strips, which I love; glutton. Then suddenly, I realised the screams and shouting of people on the street: waiting for hours in a gigantic line for the social security offices, they were impatiently trying to get in into flocks but two sullen and resolute policemen only allowed twenty at a time. Coronavirus oblige.
Later, at noon, I receive a wonderful doctor in my Astrology consultation - for the first time I couldn’t greet a client with a kiss or a handshake - prudent distance, a fluid conversation, which gave me so much. How wonderful it is to receive, five years later, a woman who made sense of what she learned. That really transformed herself and paid the price to evolve. Who loves herself much more today, who has attracted a wonderful new relationship, who is no longer a workaholic and takes courses on ikebana and flowers. She now eats mindfully, started on reiki sessions and does not want to stop developing psychically and spiritually. She admitted that only now could she understand some things that I recorded for her in our last astrology session. She learned to say “No” without guilt, to receive love, and take care of himself. Great accomplishment. In the end, we were both with tears in our eyes - I was moved by the beauty of her process, she was moved by herself, with the sacredness and wisdom of life - we just felt sorry for not being able to embrace. She had serious astrological transits, those which could indicate a sickness if she didn't change the course of her life. It was hard, but she didn't get sick. She changed and moved ahead. She fell in love in the meantime and is more radiant and serene than she was five years ago, more gorgeous and present, and I left that session with a full heart.
At home, I make a gluten-free spaghetti with chicken meatballs and organic vegetables, and go out for coffee at the pastry shop next door, where the manager tells me about having 20% less customers. I don't watch the news of any kind, but it's impossible not to know about the COVID-19. We talk about our postponed trips - my Sri Lanka and Greece Sacred Feminine Retreats, and the ones we are still going to do.
I leave slightly late for my legs waxing and my dear aesthetician welcomes me with the television in the salon on the news channel... I find out more numbers, updates, details on COVID-19. The problems of parents who have nobody to leave their children with, as the schools and nurseries were the first to close. The people who are going to be dismissed, the unconsciousness of those who have not yet understood the seriousness of the situation...
But what have we, astrologers, been saying for the past 20 years? What have I been saying about our patriarchal civilization for over 10 years? What are therapists, mentors, facilitators, saying about the need to build our inner life? To meditate? To reflect? To connect with our souls? Can we now listen with a little more space? With a little more attention?
I leave the salon with velvety legs and a mantra that my aesthetician repeats several times for herself: “I am immune, for everything there is a cure, I am always safe, protected and at peace”. Blessed be.
After a family meeting where I learned even more details about the current scenario and where we planned actions for a voluntary quarantine, I go out to some stores, as I want to slightly stock up some things for the home retreat.
After buying coffee, sugar-free vegan chocolate, dairy-free products, hair conditioner and water, I returned home. I had already bought food, toiletries and others, without hoarding, without madness, without panic. For the first time, my personal trainer didn’t come home: we trained by Skype. It was fine.
For dinner, I made fresh tuna fillet with parsley sauce and organic sweet potato puree. I gave my daughter a massage, reviewed some tasks and sat down to write this chronicle.
I felt, since early morning, that today I would write about my day. The encounters with people, the feelings of the world, and the signs of the times. The sky/God/Goddess/Universe/Nature, you name divinity, asks us for interiority, restraint, reflection, pause. We've been talking about this for so many years. Now we have to put into practice everything we have learned. Our relationship with life, with death. Our deepest fears, our true security, the essence of our inner power. What are they, where is it, what is it? In these moments, we have the opportunity to discover our truth, individually and collectively. To discover our innate strengths. To realize how supportive, we can be with each other, now that Life has brought us a virus that no wall can knock down, because we cannot put barriers in the air we breathe or live 24 hours under an igloo. I believe that these values that we can refine, perfect and strengthen at these times, are the necessary basis for the construction of a new civilization. The new Aquarian era that will come, that synthesis where, from the root chakra (earth) to the crown (corona ??) heaven, a more wholesome and authentic communication between ourselves and the others will produce a conscious and hopeful evolution. And I was moved to see on YouTube, the video of Italians singing at night on their lighted balconies; and the children's rainbow, saying “Andrà tutto bene”, “All will be Ok”.
Now, I will rest. It was a long and most sacred day. I wish many blessings, remembering that everything passes and that the lessons and teachings will remain.