There are those days on which we feel insecure, and we seem not to get one “right”. A mistake at work, a negative comment, a misunderstanding trigger within us that feeling of not being adequate and not being good/smart/beautiful enough. Remember that we are always in control and have a choice over our emotions. It’s what we call personal power. We cannot control what others will say or think, but we can decide how we want to react and respond to it. Let’s see then 7 things to remember when you think you are not good enough.
1. Look Back
Usually when we relate to the goals we have set ourselves we tend to be future-oriented and we feel discouraged when we realize that we are still far from that goal. In all this, we forget the road we have traveled and that has allowed us to be where we are now. For once, look behind and congratulate yourself/or to the way you path and all the obstacles that you have successfully overcome!
2. Focus on progress and excellence, not perfection
We strive so much for perfection and success that when we don’t reach them, we feel worthless and demolish all the good that we have built. When we aim to perfectionism, we feel bad if we cannot reach our standards and then we blame ourselves or others. Striving for excellence means instead trying to give the best of us because we want to do it, not because we have to be perfect. Excellence means trying to be better, to do better. And it is a journey that lasts a lifetime.
3. Do not compare your journey with that of another
Each trip is personal and therefore not comparable to that of another. Maybe you know people who inspire you and are an example for you. This is great; keep on surrounding yourself by people like that. But do not let that discourage you. Maybe they are more “ahead of you” so that you think, “I’ll never get there or be like them.” Even the experts in anything once were beginners. Just because you’re in a different stage of the journey, it doesn’t mean that you cannot get where you would like to. You will manage to do in the way and timing perfect for you.
4. Do not get worried in advance
Worrying, i.e. dealing with things before they happen is useless. It will just increase your anxiety and agitation. Most of the time, things unfold themselves without too much struggle. Once you’ve done all that was in your power to do, let things happen!
5. Do you want to be happy?
Happiness is a choice that we renew every day. Life is indeed very short and it is a gift that can be removed at any time. When something happens, ask yourself: "Do I really want to let this incident or comment ruin my life?" This will help you in gaining perspective again.
6. You aren’t what you do
We may be wrong, but that does not mean we are a mistake. We can behave badly, but that does not mean we are bad people! Always keep in mind that what you do is not who you are, distinguish between your actions and your essence. What we do can be improved with practice. When someone makes a negative comment on you “You missed this and that ...”, do not take it as a personal attack. (S)he is not giving an opinion on you as a person, but on your actions. And if you’re the person who has to give feedback, please remember to distinguish between the person and the behavior: it will make a big difference in your relationships
7. Pay attention to the inner dialogue
How many times we are kind to other people and strict with ourselves? Maybe we do something wrong, and we keep on punishing ourselves for days with a tough inner dialogue. Making mistakes happens and no one likes that; but what’s the point of extending the uncomfortable situation, calling yourself stupid if not worse? Remember that you are a soul on the road, always, in every moment. Be gentle with yourself and feel empathy and appreciation for what you do and for who you are. Send love to yourself even when you think you do not deserve it: it is the time when you need it most.