Going through life feeling unable to fulfill one’s desires accumulates frustration, which becomes structuring the life space of the individual accommodated to the comfort of not being confronted, of not having to decide or solve. The splendid cradle or the hard bed can support and rest this individual who does nothing but who thinks and wants to do everything. Receiving everything or nothing is overwhelming possibilities, since appeasing needs or stopping them with a little amount that satisfies transforms the relational processes of being in the world, of coexistence with the other, into filters to fulfill the demands needed.
Signed by satisfied or unsatisfied needs, the individual has his/her ways, life paths and relationships oriented towards satisfaction, sedation, or fulfillment. Being guided by what is obligatory or indispensable to satisfy biological needs (hunger, thirst, sleep, sex) is a context that also teaches and guides towards the realization of rights, choices, and purposes in the social system, in society. Thus arise the successful ones and the marginal ones or social outcasts. Extremes balanced by the way they fight for competence, trying to cover up failures of incompetence.
Vanity, violence, revolt, and resentment result from this process structured in the realization of needs, in the transformation of human possibilities into contingencies, into tools to survive. Living for success, for reaching the top - wealth, consideration, and social brilliance - is the motto that guides countless individuals. When they reach the required marks, considered as marks of the winners, they become vain, satisfied, but also unsatisfied by the wear and tear of the constant expectation and need to keep what has been achieved. In this way, more has to be always more, any decrease threatens and excludes. The losers, those who do not reach the top, are the fallen, diminished, without expression. Living without marks, without power tokens is frustrating. This process extenuates, wears, defeats the one who runs after some place or something. Realizing the impossibility, knowing that it is no use to dream or imagine “better days” depresses and frustrates. It is the realization of the incompetence long warned by the ones around. “To live is to fight” has been transformed into “To live is to be tired”.
If the other is not something to be imitated, if there is no envy, no competition, if there is acceptance of one’s own limits and structure, possibilities will be developed rather than neutralized by needs. The individual would act and experience everything as a relational possibility of being in the world with the other instead of seeking to achieve the best to not be the worst, transforming every human characteristic into exchange and bargaining, valid only for capitalization of power and control.
To live is to be together, it is not necessary to distinguish equality, difference, capacity, or incapacity. To feel incompetent is to evaluate oneself, taking extrinsic values as a reference. To evaluate is to transform oneself into a measure that nothing expresses, because there is no one to configure it.