The path of the Sacred Feminine presupposes that “Heaven descends to Earth,” the spirit shines through matter. Matter and Mother both derive from the Latin mater: matter, the body, is our fundamental mother. With it we have to be reconciled, to rebuild a positive, loving relationship with; to inhabit the body it is to be able to feel again, to desire; it is to embrace the legitimacy of expressing our longings or anger, it is to assume the responsibility of rebuilding ourselves in each new cycle, open to life, relying more and more on its mystery and love.
This is your body,
Your precious gift,
Pregnant with wisdom you do not hear,
Grief you thought was forgotten,
And joy you have never known1.
Regardless of the tradition we adopt to learn and work with the Sacred Feminine, the process always involves feeling and returning to the body - only then the spirit-matter split can be healed again. It needs to be felt in our authentic voice - only then can the division between the head (mind) and the instincts (body) be healed. The Sacred Feminine reconciles in our body/soul all the paradoxes, and only by "descending" into the matter/body can it give us back its energy, vitality, love, and can we feel at home in ourselves, really trusting in the sustenance of life.
If only we can bring the wisdom of the body to consciousness, spirit will no longer be longing for home1.
This process involves healing our wounds and this healing represents the rescue of the parts of our soul that we might have left on the path of life, in trauma, illness, accidents or loss. Regardless of the tradition we adopt, the measure of truth we assume in the Sacred Feminine is given to us by our degree of self-reverence, fidelity to ourselves, the ability to receive the mystery of each moment and to contain in our body/soul the Goddess's erotic force, in love with herself and the blessing of being eternity in a woman's body! Regardless of the tradition we adopt, the measure of Goddess integration is given to us by how truly whole we are, which is a definition of conscious happiness.
Perfection belongs to the gods; completeness or wholeness is the most a human being can hope for1.
The Sacred Feminine takes root in the Conscious Feminine and this is summarized, as I teach, in the 4 P`s: Paradox, Process. Presence and Pleasure. Here we will cover an aspect of Paradox. And when I say, “the feminine”, I don’t mean gender. I mean the feminine principle that is living—or suppressed—in both men and women.
The masculine approach is relative to the left brain, analytical, dichotomous, linear, which differentiates opposites. The feminine approach is relative to the right hemisphere, synthetic, circular, diffuse, holistic, embracing the paradox 360 degrees. The opposites chose: this OR that; the paradox reunites: this AND that. Maybe Shakespeare was wrong when he said, "To be OR not to be, THIS is the question"; maybe the real question, the most comprehensive is: “to be AND not to be” because we are simultaneously what we know about us, and what we don't acknowledge we are, as there`s so many contents in the unconscious for us to realize…
In relationships, which exist to help us find this unknown part of ourselves trough the other, (this being another good definition of happiness, in my view), the opposition between the partners makes us spend a lot of energy when we polarize on one side of the conflict (the same happens in our internal conflicts). To turn opposition into paradox is to allow both sides of an issue to have expression, to concede both people, factions, feelings, choices, equal opportunity and value. And this reconciliation of opposites is a dynamic process always in the making, starting in ourSelves. We can try to nullify the opposition by willpower, reasonableness, fear, by trying to silence one side, taking sides with the other. While this is many times necessary and useful, if we do this all our lives, we will have serious problems with the suppressed voices that will rebel inside and out of us.
The feminine principle attempts to relate. Instead of breaking things off into parts, it says, where are we alike? How can we connect? Where is the love? Can you listen to me? Can you really hear what I am saying? Can you see me? Do you care whether you see me or not?1
The feminine, holistic approach suggests us to "sit down and talk” to both sides. To feel their strength-pull in opposite directions, give them a space so that, with the heat and fire generated by their friction, we can be alchemically cooked in one direction, the right one for us. In this container generated by our ability to withstand the pressure, both opposites will jointly “give birth” to a new solution that integrates both, a solution superior to either party alone. Carl Jung called this process “tertia non datur” and also said that without emotion there is no evolution. When someone has questions about staying or breaking up with a relationship, they are invited to go through this process. There are those who can't stand the pressure and run too fast from the melting pot, the alchemical crucible, breaking ahead of time. You will only be able to attract more of the same and repeat the pattern of relationships because you have not been enduring long enough to go deep, integrate the experience and mature the resources and awareness needed to root the change. Mind that I am not addressing here any type of violent or dysfunctional kind of relationship, that would naturally need different approaches; I am referring to functional people. On the other hand, there are people who stay for too long in the “wrong” choice/relationship for a reason, be it fear, accommodation, denial… and it gets “humidity, damp” and finally rots. They did not let the psychic fire metabolize the toxic waste within, drowned it in the waters of unconsciousness, manipulation or terror, and were flooded with the very denial of life and love itself. Embracing the paradox is a function of the feminine/yin; Whoever does it best has the most developed feminine in her or himself.
Love is the real power. It’s the energy that cherishes. The more you work with that energy, the more you will see how people respond naturally to it, and the more you will want to use it. It brings out your creativity, and helps everyone around you flower. Your children, the people you work with–everyone blooms1.
1 Quotes are from Marion Woodman.