In breaking with the Aristotelian causality that saw processes as liberating acts of power, Franz Brentano, a forerunner of Phenomenology, said that the important thing is not love but to love; the beloved becomes a receptacle, an object that holds love and makes it disappear.
Attitude, activity, movement, action -verbs- are the determinants of the relationships of the being-in-the-world.
By taking a stand, getting immobilized, or losing momentum, one establishes imprisoning references of experiences and desires. Everything depends on pre-established ideas, goals, conveniences and inconveniences, achievements and images, adjustments and fittings, always acting on the basis of defeats or achievements that secure positions while alienating and depersonalizing.
Attitude is what keeps the momentum going. Being able to love, for example, is more important than holding, caring, and watching over loved ones. It is the availability, the fact of being able to, that allows coexistence, relationships and human interactions. When positioning arises, loved ones appear, hated ones appear as well, and they act as “black holes”, swallowing our availability. It is the conquered, the possessed, the recipient of affection or disaffection, the belonging (“my family, my colleagues, my peers”), the strangeness (“I do not live with this person or this situation, I do not accept, this must be destroyed”); in short, it is the stagnation, the loss of fluidity characteristic of behaviors based on spontaneity and availability.
The dense and the subtle, the needs and possibilities can also be listed in these processes that allow infinite reductions or enlargements of human possibilities. Transforming the other into an object of love, transforming him/her into the beloved one, is a way of reifying him/her even when the transformation creates the meaning of one’s own existence, an amulet.
To live is to relate. This configuration allows freedom, movement, and dynamics.
Life is dynamics, it is movement, and therefore it cannot be imprisoned in cages, it cannot be imprisoned in illusions of well-being, although well-being resembles many frameworks of shelter and imprisonment. The important thing is to understand, to realize that actions are preliminary, dynamic, relational motivators from which positions and secondary situations arise. Certain situations depersonalize the individual. This is the case, for example, when for one the important thing is home, comfort, security, support or when one loses momentum by anchoring it in functional determinism of his/her relational identity.
To live is to participate, to balance, to organize and, for that, movement is necessary. When this movement is transformed into adaptation, fit and rules, it destroys the dynamics, the relational motivations, the procedural data, aiming to always create comfort, even if it implies cuts, ordered suppressions that escape the metrics of small spaces.