It’s easy to get into the habit of controlling people. In this space, it is very easy to believe that you know what’s the best. You may feel like you need to approve of every decision that is made, control how the job needs to be done, and how people should behave and manage things. Often this is with good intention, but the consequences of controlling may not be positive.

For a lot of people, there is a fair amount of difficulty with letting go of control or at least admitting to a lack of control, especially when it comes to getting results. Some of us find it hard to come to terms with the fact that many things in life, and the people we surround ourselves with, are out of our control.

Once we realize how much it actually hurts others, and the outcome that we want to create, we can start taking action toward letting go of that controlling mentality and stop wanting to force our will onto others. Often, we don’t know, how to give up the need for control. I have struggled with that all my life. With a lot of introspection and practice, I have devised 4 Ways To Stop Trying To Control Others. And I know it works! So here it is…

Practice #1: Learn to trust others…

Trying to control everything and everyone shows a definite lack of faith. If you need to stop trying to control other people, you should keep in mind that putting faith in others is a huge part of it. Asking yourself “How can I learn to trust others more?” is a good beginning. When you give out trust, people usually try to live up to it. Remember it is one small step at a time.

Practice #2: Eliminate unreasonable expectations…

One reason for not trusting others is having unrealistic expectations. Expecting people to live up to an unreasonable standard they aren’t even aware of is pretty ridiculous. Understanding that people have strengths and work-styles which are different from you, helps reset the expectations. Your strength lies in recognizing what people are good at and then maximising that, rather than trying to control what can't be changed.

Practice #3: Surrender to the situation…

To surrender is to stop fighting and controlling. Occasionally it is OK to give up control and surrender to the situation. This is especially important in cases when you cannot control the other person, the situation, or the outcome. The ability to surrender and let go of the resistance can be the wisest approach under uncontrollable circumstances.

Practice #4: Know you might be wrong…

To stop trying to control people this is very important. Know that you are NOT always right, and your opinion is not always valuable, especially if you’re wrong and don’t even know it. Know that you are capable of making a mistake and give someone else a chance at making the right decisions for themselves.

Practising these four strategies can hugely enhance your ability to let go of control. This will positively impact not only the situation and people around you, but also your own peace of mind in a big way. It’s well worth it! If not now, when?