Depression, stress and anxiety are unfortunately trending hashtags. There is always a seemingly powerful ‘excuse’ that bugs us. Telling us that we are not good enough. We never feel complete as we live most of our time on this earth in a negative and unhealthy state of mind. Never even once questioning back the beliefs or inner voices that make us feel deprived and less than beautiful.
We should experience every moment deliberately, actively, in awareness of the whole truth. So that, in the future when we look back at our now, we can smile thinking: “It was life and we decided to live it!”
To decode the secrets of a joyful and fulfilling life I reached out to Melissa Rose Mallory. She is a California-born spiritual guru at “A Place to Transform.” As a well-wisher of our civilization and universe, she offers her undivided attention to counsel different human beings unravelling varied backgrounds personalities.
In this interview focussing on three important elements - well-being, time, and money - she has answered questions that many regular students and working professionals often come across in their heads but perhaps never found the right answers, until now.
How did “A Place to Transform” start?
A Place to Transform” gets to the truth of you and life. We treat more than just symptoms. I gently teach, guide, counsel, and coach clients about social, emotional intelligence, Meta-cognition, and how to truly learn how to slow down one’s mind and count to 10, before reacting or responding. We explore happiness and how to gather “Happy Moments.” Client/students are taught how to identify individually as well as collectively how to question negative thoughts and beliefs that hurt them, in this present moment. We hurt because we fear the future and/or suffer from past decisions or events and worry about loss. We suffer because we have attachments to how “it” should have gone and did not.
How are you able to infuse yourself in optimism and live with it all day?
I awake with a smile and visualize a terrific day before opening eyes; I sit up and breathe in/out slowly 3 times; I arise from bed, firming both feet (grounding) before moving forward; I create a daily word, phrase, affirmation and repeat aloud, use in a sentence, write it on a mirror, hang it from your computer, use in daily interactions; throughout the day, I scale from 0-10, when trying to figure out what my body is telling me in this present moment; I have quiet space and talk little or not at all, at certain scheduled times.
How to stop stress or anxiety and align ourselves with a healthy mind, body, and soul?
Pay attention to and be aware of each thought in each moment, and what “they” are telling you about you and others. Often, the seeds of biases and great suffering are planted into our unconscious realities, while growing up. This is where un-questioned false beliefs play havoc with our personal and collective lives.
Allow for grace, architecting joy, and balance to appear via manifestations, all the while identifying and letting go of old beliefs and thought patterns that are non-loving.
Create a new relationship with the present moment. Instead of feeling like a victim, you decide to stand up and take responsibility for your own journey, the one that was already designed for you before being born.
Pay attention to thoughts, words, phrases, sayings that create more fear, sadness, anxieties, and negativity (chart 3 times a day to become more aware without further judgment).
Become aware of what is not yours and what is. You are the actor/actress in your life, who has control, who decides what type of roles you want to participate in. Let go of a “toxic” situation or relationship for good with no guilt.
Gather happy moments in time (i.e., joy jar, gratitude boxes, focusing on “the Good,” happening in this very moment in time.
Additionally, listen to Solfeggio Frequencies (174-963 Hz) and Binaural music and sounds. Science now knows that thoughts are creative, so identify and take refuge from your thoughts or disturbing beliefs and become aware of what you pay attention to in your “now” moments, throughout your day.
The depth of your soul knows when it is time to push the restart button and transform. generally, many messages appear in dreams, visions, and in actual reality. One does not have to travel overseas and walk 2000 miles to “Go In.” It takes patience and clear understanding, to truly learn how to accept and experience sustained self-love. The question is, if not this, what then? Choose to make every choice or decision based on a simple premise in mind: Is it loving to Self, Earth, and Other? Take great care of You, Earth, and Other. We will all prosper.
What is your definition of prayer, when to pray, how often to pray and how do we pray to maximum effect?
I use prayer like a breath. It is more a daily experiential and magical moment-by-moment recognition and acceptance of my now moments throughout the day.
It is architecting more joy in my/your waking and sleeping hours. While growing up methodist, I prayed to an external God. Now, I pray as God, Universe, Source, One, the Manifestor of positive thoughts, choices, decisions. Sometimes I talk with myself while others times I have a dialogue with Universe and patiently wait for loving answers to come to me at the perfect time. I wait for the water to settle before taking the correct move, for me. Daily, I orchestrate and receive “daily magic” (liquid reality much like a dream!). Just knowing that “it” is always there and available to tap into at any given moment, keeps me grounded, connected, and more present in my life, every moment. I pray within mindlessness and “flow” practices (space from thoughts and beliefs) and carve 60-90 minutes out in my personal calendar, to experience pure fun! Endless Joy is always available. I have loved to play my entire life. There is something about an uninterrupted play or sitting quietly to listen to the gentle trickle from a nearby fountain while smiling, watching the young chickadees playing, and praying.
Prayer to me is more like a chant or mantra, that turns into a daily affirmation for the day, that starts my day off positively. Yesterday’s affirmation: I am open to receiving grand abundance in my life, I am. Today’s affirmation: I am bringing great good into my life, I am.
What are beliefs and how can we programme beliefs in favour of our desires and well-being?
Beliefs are often seeded as children and carried throughout one’s lifespan. Unquestioned beliefs often create great suffering. There is a difference between reality and your thoughts about reality.
First, question a belief that has caused great pain for You, Earth, or Other. Examples of suffering beliefs are: “Life happens to me”, “Reality is linear”, “I am limited”.
When one is experiencing stress and anxiety it is often based on unquestioned thoughts, beliefs, and triggers, that move us emotionally. If one can count immediately 10, this will diffuse the situation.
Confront the mean and negative inner voice, learn how to create space between what is truly happening and what is not happening.
Let go off negative thought patterns and runaway images, past or future threats.
Due to books, podcasts, and social media many people consider themselves fluent in the law of attraction but claim that it didn’t work out for them. Why?
Many people think and say positive affirmations, even design and put together affirmation boards, but do not believe that they are worthy of receiving any good. The minute I realized that I carried around with me personal negative beliefs about this or that, I started to identify and question false beliefs and their validity. I once prayed for years that my body would feel better, not knowing (at the time) it was primarily my negative fearful thoughts and beliefs that were making me ill. As soon as I took responsibility to challenge my own thoughts and false beliefs, I got better. I realized; it was “me” who needed to change. It was “my thinking” and actions on my own behalf, who needed to take responsibility, own attitude, and actions.
Now I choose love, joy, and connectivity to Self, Earth, and Others.
How to become a pro-success personality and stop becoming an anti-success personality?
I believe all people exhibit a “strong will to survive!” My mother is an example of this. Though she and her brother were separated and put into separate homes, as young children, they both became incredibly resilient and loving individuals who grew up with a keen sense of who “they” were at any given point in their lives.
They realized that it was up to them, individually, to take responsibility for their own development. This is in a completely balanced and nourished way.
I was primarily raised by my mother who endured much adversity, as a child. She learned while growing up in an unloving home that she was not going to let what happened to her define her. Instead, she chose to shine!
There are so many types of people, circumstances, experiences, and seasons. How can we remain positive all the time?
Our brains are wired for “what if” fearful scenarios and suffering thoughts and beliefs. People must first become aware of what and when they think, say and do, regarding themselves. Then, people must become aware of when you think or say negative statements towards others. These statements add up, are created, and manifested. So be careful what you think and say.
There is great suffering or joy, and everything in between. If one never questions hurtful beliefs, one will keep falling back into old habits and patterns. The brain loves to find patterns to make sense of what “it thinks” is going on.
You can always question uncertainty, anxiety, doubt, embarrassment, comparing yourself to others. Sign up for only what you want to do. Use “no” as your superpower. Start to fill out weekly and monthly joy and fun calendars (i.e., schedule daily time to disconnect from technology).
What is your personal attitude towards time?
Time is infinite! I know that I architect my time now, and it expands from here.
I grew up in a town of ‘80s, where I was free to explore outside, in rocky creeks, on small hillsides, in various shaped trees, without clocks or watches. My siblings and I knew to come home by sunset, every evening, to clean up for dinner.
As a child, there seemed to be a sense of endless time. In this special place, I became, open and willing to explore. I was and still am a very curious and creative being.
Time does allow one to meet a deadline, to show board members best practices, data-driven methodologies, put to good use. Time is often defined as a need plus outcome which is then prioritized, organized, and executed.
How to program our mind to stop doing overtime?
List and prioritize.
Do heavy thinking and producing, the best time for you.
Communicate during the early morning via email and telephone.
Let go of hurtful thoughts and ideas (non-productive and non-loving) and replace them with nothing but good.
Always schedule in your daily calendar, a 60-minute downtime to fully decompress away from technology (you do not need to tell anyone!).
There are many ways to live a life. Remember, once hitting your alarm clock, it is up to you how you want to live your life, in every moment of every day! Everything is a choice. We have free will.
What is money?
Growing up my first eleven and a half years in a spiritual community, all members had the same, financial portfolio, for the most part. We lived on a shoestring budget, especially after my father’s passing, in the early 70s.
Money is value. It can be used for self and for others. When used for self entirely, we have the world we see today, where saving money is more important than human life.
When we use money in loving ways, we would be living in paradise, and the health of all as well as the planet will prosper! Love-based money is achieving true richness.
How can we become rich?
Just saying and believing that we are powerful and magical will help to change old habitual ways of living and being. Life is happening because of and for us not to us!
The magic in the power of thinking positively and believing it to so create a wonderful life. I have no fear of pressing resent on my life! For this is an adventure. This is one of my superpowers.
Often, people get stuck in their own false belief prisons and will not take the necessary changes needed to better balance mind-body-spirit. So, they stay and suffer and complain that life is a bummer!
Can you share a personal life story about how you overcame your mental blocks and manifested your desire swiftly?
A few years ago, I had only one class left to pass with a “C,” to be able to transfer into a university. I took Intermediate Algebra. I did not receive that grade. I was hard on myself. I even thought that I was bad at mathematics. I waited for another one and a half to get my nerve up to take the same class with a new teacher. This time I did receive a transferable grade. It ended up working out, at the perfect time for me.